Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Late Night Ramblings

Some days I feel like I was a kid floating through life doing what I felt I was supposed to be doing. In and out of relationships, screwing up along the way. And then, one day, I wanted to be a man. So I decided to "do" what I thought a man does, and think the way I thought a man did.

As my 30th birthday approaches, I am caught in the dilemma of being a dad, and the whether the march of time makes me an old kid or a man. It is a milestone, but it will only mean I've survived another year, not that I've matured another year.

By losing all father-figures in my life, have I lost any chance of becoming truly validated in manhood. Or am I left to just guess?

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  1. I'm 32. I can tell you from experience that my husband reached a new level of maturity at 30. Don't get me wrong... it wasn't about giving up video games or a pick-up game of hoops with the guys... but it was about respecting his wife's growth, being a role model for his children, and taking his work a bit more seriously. Just an observation from a wife's point of view.

  2. Thank you Kelly for your comment. Even though I don't think I'll give p gaming, or sports, I do feel an obligation to at least TRY to be more mature at 30. And maybe acting like it long enough will lead to actually being more mature.