Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Moment of Self-Awareness

I've been known to be funny.  I have developed my sarcasm.  I ignore my introverted-ness at times.  I exploit my Alpha-Dog within.  I hide my inner Geek (sometimes).  I stomp out the urges to yell.  I still don't understand emotions (mine or others').  I know how those who don't know me may categorize me upon seeing me, and it intrigues me.  I used to go to the store in baggy hooded sweats and have headphones in my ear without any music playing just to hear what people say when they think you can't hear them.  I love mirrored sunglasses.  The behavior of people intrigues me; that's why I do what I do for work.  

I don;t think there's a way to translate the behaviorist side of myself into this blog.  My sense of humor is passive-aggressive, sarcastic, subtle, inappropriate, and just mean sometimes.  But how does someone bounce back and forth from mommy-issues to a vacuum they enjoy, to manhood, to anger-management, to his little princess, to his son, to race issues, to techie concerns, to special Education developments, to whatever and still maintain a captive audience?  

If I've learned anything from no one, it's that anyone can teach you something at any moment.  

I have had a great response to some of my more"inspired" posts, and I think that the pressure I felt to do some equally deep follow-up posts was self-imposed.  Yes, I want to discuss some heavier issues in my life, but I am not a deep, touchy-feely, cum-by-yah, "everyone's a winner" kind of person.  I am, in fact a fairly simple person... or at least I think I am.  My own philosophy is that if you have to tell people you are something, then you are not it.  If you were, then people would know that.  But is that the case when it comes to an online persona?

Am I doing the Modern Dad a disservice by trying to stick to one niche?  since today's dads are "EVERY-MEN", who am I to try and stick myself into a box?  My own Twitter profile explains the many sides of me thus far: Ex College Athlete, Husband, Dad, Geek, Special Education teacher... Just trying my best.  But that still scratches my surface.  I am a diapering/greco-roman-style baby wrestler.  I am a battlefield medic, ordering the able troop (Peables) to go retrieve supplies while helping a downed soldier tend to his wounds (poop and a diaper rash).  I am the strongest-weakest, fastest-slowest, best-worst wrestler/dancer ever as I balance being the strongest dad ever with getting beaten up by my kids.  I have Love-Amnesia: I get annoyed at little things my wife does, but I'm so happy to see her when we're home that I forget, and she's just perfect.  I am a dormant volcano of a has-been athlete that I have to calm myself from going too hard too fast when I get a chance to compete.  I am a pushover of a disciplinarian.  I am the head, and I show examples of how to follow, and how to lose.  I can nap while my kids are jumping all over me.  I am an educator of modern-mythologies (comics). 

I am a dad.  I am a modern dad.  

I am everything my pack needs me to be. 


  1. Thanks for following my tweets. That led me to your blog. Very cool, I enjoy daddy's perspective! http://hungrigyrl.blogspot.com

  2. What a wonderful post and beautiful fam :) Love the pictures!

  3. Great post sir. It has been awesome reading and getting to know you here and on Twitter.

    For me, blogging has been far more than connections, a few dollars, brand notice, and so on. It has taught me so much about myself as well. I used to sit and ponder what the "next big post" was going to be, or what people were thinking of my writing.

    Of course, I still worry about what people think of my writing. With the hopes of freelance writing and content creation as a new career path, I kind of have to lol. But at the end of the day, I am hubby, I am daddy, I am me. Online or offline, I am always those things. The boxes we put ourselves in are constructed of ourselves. In the end, we are us, and that is perfectly okay.

  4. "I am everything my pack needs me to be." I love that sentiment. It so eloquently embodies all that any true dad can aspire to. Our family also runs on a "pack" mentality. My wife and I commonly (and only half-jokingly) refer to ourselves and each other as the alpha-male and she is the self-proclaimed alpha-bitch when she needs to be. Our kids are our cubs. And heaven help anyone or anything that comes between us and our cubs because we will fight tooth and nail for them both literally and figuratively when pushed.

    You certainly are a modern dad and your blog has been a pleasure to read and to learn from. I look forward to continuing to learn more about you and your family no matter what direction this blog goes.